What my colleagues learned in World Literature

I need to stop expecting things to be a certain way.  In my blog post about what I learned in this class, I stated that I learned not to judge a book by it's cover.  I might need to work on improving in that area.  Why?  Because I expected my colleagues to write that they learned about the different types of stories that we read in this class. That is not what they wrote at all.

Molly Lauritsen learned to manage her time.  She said, "I found that if I would go ahead and get them [the assignments] out of the way I ended up saving myself a lot of times stressing over it."  Matthew Hindman agreed and said, "With this course however, it taught me how to improve myself with the poor time management."

Others wrote that they learned how to use the Google tools and Wikipedia.  Will Paris said, "Using Google Blogger and Google Docs will be very useful tools for if I need them in the future."  Kimberly Frenz benefited from these tools and said, "I can not start to explain how hard it was to do group assignments in the past...Now doing group projects are simple."

Many experienced a paradigm shift regarding how classes should be taught.  Matthew Hindman in talking about Dr. Hamon's use of a flopped classroom said, "...the course is literally flipped, which means that all the research and readings are done outside the class, while all the work/homework is done inside the classroom. Alright, new things...new experiences."  Kimberly Barron said, "I found out that it actually pushes me to learn the material rather than it being spoon-fed to me in class." 

At the end of the day, we all learned something from Dr. Hamon.  He did a great job teaching us new things, in both interesting and fun ways.

Learning that my expectations are wrong!

In the fall of 1986, I started attending college at the University of Maryland, Munich Campus.  I took most of my required core classes, but avoided a couple that made me nervous.  I knew I had to take them, but I delayed it because I knew the classes would involve a lot of reading and writing.  I love to read, but  I've never thought myself a good writer.  Fast forward to 2015 and I was at the point where I needed two core classes to complete my degree...American History and World Literature.  It was time to hunker down and enroll in World Literature.

I walked into class with my book and planned my trip to Books-a-Million to get the required reading list.  But Dr. Hamon's version of World Literature was the complete opposite of what I expected.  If you've ever watched Charlie Brown, you can see what I expected!

As the first class meeting closed, I realized there was no required reading list. This was not a "book club" style class where you read books and write multiple, boring essay papers.  This was a class where we blogged about topics related to the snippets of stories that we read.  This was a class where we researched a topic of our choosing, yes, OUR CHOOSING, and then updated a Wikipedia article and wrote a short essay, as "the" class subject matter expert.

So what did I learn?  I learned not to judge a book by it's cover (no pun intended).  I also learned that I'm a pretty decent writer.  I throughly enjoyed writing and reading the weekly blogs.  Finally, I learned that there are many ways to teach and learn material and that classroom environments of today are not the same as those of 1986.  I have zero regrets about avoiding the class in 1986.  In 1986, I would have learned that nodding off might get you some public humiliation along with a bad grade!

My Colleagues and the Doc 3 Essay

It was interesting to read my colleagues posts regarding the things that kept them from and helped them to stay on task when writing their Doc 3 essays.  A few people said it was helpful that the essay topic was the same as the Wikipedia article they had written.  Heather Cook said, "The most beneficial thing for me when working on Doc3 was being able to work on the same subject as the Wikipedia project."  Molly Lauritsen said that being able to use the same topic, "...helped me get a jumpstart because sometimes one of the things that drag me down with papers is all of the research that is involved."  I agree that being able to use the research from our Wikipedia articles was not only helpful, but an extreme time saver.

Like me, life and other priorities seemed to get in the way for some of my colleagues.  "The fact that I got a job" hindered Johnny Jordan in writing his paper.  For Larkin South, his "...problems started on November 12 when StarCraft 2: Legacy of the Void was released."   The life-work balance is something most adults struggle with and finding solutions to create that balance is extremely helpful.

Even though each of us faced different struggle in completing our essays, I really what Antoinette Nelson says that helped keep her on task.  She was very insightful when stating that, "Setting goals and making a schedule makes my life so much so much easier."  I could not agree more!

Doc 3 Task

When writing my Doc 3 essay, the main thing that helped me stay on task was the looming deadline.  I've always worked best under pressure, but I also understand the stress I feel, when I procrastinate.  Knowing this fact about myself, helped me to work steadily on this essay.

I had a couple of things that hindered my progress.  At the beginning of my writing, I found it difficult to settle on a topic.  I initially wanted to write about the poetess, Marie de France, but I found there was not a lot of information about her.  There was however a lot of information about her lais and so I decided to pick one called The Chevrefoil.  

The other thing that hindered my progress was life!  I am a busy mom of three children.  Between my schooling, my kids' after school activities, cooking dinner, cleaning house, doing laundry, and spending quality time with my family, I found that I would, on occasion, put writing my Doc 3 essay on the back burner.

My Colleagues Posts

In reading many of my colleagues posts, I found a few who believe that Dr. Ben Carson lives by the highest ethical standard.  I found it interesting though, as this may not actually be the case.

As a young boy, he was constantly in trouble and had a raging temper.  He has recently claimed that he protected white students during the riots that followed the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr.; he stabbed a man; and he has had no involvement with Mannatech (a company that has made exaggerated claims about the therapeutic benefits of their products).

The problem is that some of these claims cannot be confirmed and some have even been shown to be outright lies.  Although Dr. Carson may seem like a ethical candidate on the surface, I have to wonder if we need to dig deeper to find out his truths.

Samuel Gutierrez believes in Dr. Carson and said, "The best set of firm ethics are those who stand their ground."   Kimberly Barron says Dr. Carson, "listens to others and understands, even if he doesn't agree with what they're saying to him he still see's it from their point of view and puts it into consideration."

Standing your ground doesn't necessarily mean that you are being truthful and honest. It may actually be a method to hide the truth and to try to convince your audience that your story is believable.  I do however agree that Dr. Carson seems to be fair in listening to other's viewpoints.  Whether he chooses to change his views based on what he hears is a different story.  Only time will tell, if Dr. Ben Carson is a truly ethical man.  

Presidential Ethics

As far as ethics are concerned, I think Mike Huckabee is the most ethical nominee.  According to his campaign website, http://www.mikehuckabee.com/about, as Governor of Arkansas, "his administration fought long-standing corruption in the state’s political machine, resulting in numerous indictments and convictions of powerful legislators and other elected officials."  

In 2005, Time Magazine named him one of the five best governors in America and Governing Magazine named him as one of it's "Public Officials of the Year."

He values soldiers and police officers because "they are the only thing standing between our freedom and total anarchy."

As far as relativistic morals and situation ethics, Hilary Clinton leads the pack.  In the book titled, The Seduction of Hillary Rodham, David Brock levels many accusations against her.  Among them are that she has a disdain for compromise, has never accepted legal and ethical structures and lives by an end-justifies-the-means philosophy.  Funnily enough, Mr. Brock is now part of a Clinton-supporting Super PAC (Political Action Committee) called “Correct the Record,” and he claims that his "blinding by the right" led him to write the book.  I tend to think that he might also live by the philosophies of moral relativism and situational ethics.  

Our textbook states that Machiavelli believed that "the end of political stability justifies the means, even if those means include deception..."  If you look at the scandals that Hilary Clinton seemingly has been a part of, she has been very deceptive in her methods.  She has refused to turnover documents and hard drives for examination and was vague in her answers during a Congressional hearing.  The persona that is displayed reflects a person who thinks that her immoral, illegal, and unethical actions were warranted.

Our textbook also references Montaigne's essay "Of Cannibals," where he says that "each man calls barbarism whatever is not his own practice."  Each man is a hypocrite if they believe what another man is doing is worse or different, than what they are themselves doing.

Hilary Clinton is one such hypocrite.  She has said that money is corrupting politics and has denounced super PAC's, yet she is counting on two large one's to support and fund her campaign.  She calls it a "necessary evil."

At the end of the day, I believe that we should have a president who fights and stands up for our country.  Moral relativism would better suit a president because it would allow political stability.  Sometimes, the president might have to do things that are not acceptable to reach that goal, but it is important that he/she try to do things using a moral compass and also do the things that ensure Americans can continue to live with the rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

The Beauty In My Life (In the style of Li Bo)

The most beautiful thing in my life is my family.  I have been married to my husband, Jim

for 25 years.  We have three children:  Ashley (21), Cameron (16) and Peyton (13).  They 

mean the world to me and I don't think there would be quite as much beauty in my life, if

they weren't in it.  Here is my poem:

A daily hug encases me:

Squeezing - softly - so heavenly.

I look into eyes of golden brown.

And think of the love he's given me.

The calm surrounds me peacefully:

My phone - brrring, brrring - noisily chimes.

Her duck-lipped selfie stares at me.

I giggle softly and say hello.

I sit in my Jeep patiently waiting:

His smile - like a burst of sun - appears.

I watch as he flops into the passenger seat.

I'm thankful that his smile is for me.

The room is silent as the music starts:

The voice - angelic - upon the stage.

I gasp and fight to catch my breath.

I wipe my tears and know she's mine.

Beauty in my favorite song (Don't forget to click the link at the end!)

If you've ever watched the television show The Voice, you know that it has amateur singers competing to win a record contract by singing cover songs.  In the fifth season of the show, I fell in love with the voice of a young girl named Caroline Pennell.  Her voice was beautiful, ethereal, and angelic.  One night, she sang a White Stripes' song called "We're Going To Be Friends."  Her rendition was absolutely breathtaking. 

The song is beautiful because it expresses the innocence that children experience.  The friends in the song walk, play, learn, and discover the natural world around them.  At night, they dream of it happening all over again. 

Fall is here, hear the yell

Back to school, ring the bell

Brand new shoes, walking blues

Climb the fence, books and pens

I can tell that we are gonna be friends

I can tell that we are gonna be friends

Walk with me, Suzy Lee

Through the park and by the tree

We will rest upon the ground

And look at all the bugs we found

Safely walk to school without a sound

Safely walk to school without a sound

Here we are, no one else

We walked to school all by ourselves

Theres dirt on our uniforms

From chasing all the ants and worms

We clean up and now its time to learn

We clean up and now its time to learn

Numbers, letters, learn to spell

Nouns and books and show and tell

Playtime we will throw the ball

Back to class, through the hall

Teacher marks our height against the wall

Teacher marks our height against the wall

And we don't notice any time pass

We don't notice anything

We sit side by side in every class

Teacher thinks that I sound funny

But she loves the way you sing

Tonight I'll dream while I`m in bed

When silly thoughts go through my head

About the bugs and alphabet

And when I wake tomorrow I'll bet

That you and I will walk together again

I can tell that we are gonna be friends

Yes, I can tell that we are gonna be friends

As a mom, this song really resonated with me.  In today's world, it is difficult to escape the bad things happening around us.  This song let's you get away from all the negative, even if only for a couple of minutes.  That's an important thing to help one stay positive and optimistic.

My two daughters, knowing how much I loved Caroline's arrangement of this song, surprised me with their own performance for Christmas 2013.  I was in tears listening to them perform it so beautifully.  I especially loved their unknowing innocence in the song.  My youngest daughter keeps glancing at the tv, which I find so cute.  Their version absolutely means the world to me.  To me, it is the most beautiful rendition of the song, flaws and all, because it is heartfelt.  I love it so much and hope you will enjoy it too.

Click on this link to see 
my daughters sing my favorite song!

Dante's Version of Hell

According to Dante, there are Nine Circles of Hell.  Each of the circles represents a different sin; Limbo, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Anger, Heresy, Violence, Fraud and Treachery.  Some of the circles are divided into groups, where sinners are split even further.  For instance, the fourth circle that represents greed is divided into a group for hoarders and a group for lavish spenders.

The ninth circle represents treachery.  This Circle of Hell is divided into four "rounds" where sinners are frozen into an icy lake.  Their depth in the frozen lake is based on the severity of their sin.

The circle that I found the most interesting was the seventh circle which is divided into three rings; the outer ring where murderers "live" in a river of boiling blood and fire.  The middle ring is for two types of sinners:  those who have committed suicide (who appear as trees that feed human-faced birds called harpies) and those who are shamelessly immoral (who are chased and eaten by dogs).  The inner ring is for those who are blasphemous or have committed sodomy.  These sinners "live" in a desert of burning sand, where burning rain falls.

Dante's view of Hell leads me to believe that he was either very imaginative, very angry or a combination of both.  He believed he was destined for Heaven, but if it was anger that led him to write Inferno, than he would surely have been bound for the fifth circle of Hell (Anger) where if he was intensely angry, he would have fought on the River Styx and if he was sulky and bad-tempered, he would have gurgled under the surface of the river.

My opinion of Chevrefoil (Doc 3)

In Chevrefoil, a poem written by a medieval poetess known as Marie de France, the narrator summarizes the story of Tristan and Isolde's adulterous love affair.  Isolde's husband, King Mark, has discovered the affair and has banished Tristan to exile.  Tristan learns that Queen Isolde will be traveling to Tintagel to hold court with her husband and decides to carve his name in a hazel branch in hopes that Queen Isolde will see the branch, stop the procession and come into the woods to meet with him.

Chevrefoil, is also known as The Honeysuckle, because of the use of symbolism regarding the relationship between a hazel tree and a honeysuckle bush.  These plants are meant to represent the love of Tristan and Isolde.  In verse five, Marie de France says,

For he could not live without her.
It was exactly the same with the two of them
As it was with the honeysuckle
That has attached itself to the hazel tree:
When it has so entwined itself and taken hold
And completely surrounded the trunk,
Together they can survive quite well;
But if someone tries to sever them,
The hazel tree quickly dies,
And the honeysuckle as well.

Many believe that the metaphor of hazel and honeysuckle implies that Tristan and Isolde need each other's love desperately, the honeysuckle needs the hazel to survive. If they are severed, both will die.  But their judgment is clouded; in fact, honeysuckle was used medicinally during medieval times to cure cloudy vision.  

There is danger in both staying together and being apart.  Many Celts believed that the nuts of hazel trees provide wisdom and knowledge.  Honeysuckle, in literature, has been used to represent intense love or sex.  In reality, hazel trees are rather small trees, while honeysuckle are an invasive plant that grows at an alarming rate. The intrusive growth of the honeysuckle would very quickly suffocate the hazel and kill it. 

In my opinion, the hazel and the honeysuckle do not represent the love Tristan and Isolde had for each other, but instead represent the idea that their relationship was parasitic and deadly.  Although the poem does not address this, the tale of Tristan and Isolde does end with both of their deaths;  Tristan by betrayal and Isolde by overwhelming grief.  In the end, their toxic love kills them both.

A little similarity, please.

The Qu'ran and the New Testament have more differences, than similarities.  One of the similarities is both tell the story of Cain and Abel, but they do so in completely different ways.  The New Testament tells the story, but the message is in one's interpretation.  The Qu'ran tells the story, but it overtly expresses the consequences.

In the New Testament, the story is told in Genesis 4:1-15.  Cain and Abel were the sons of Adam and Eve.  Cain farmed the land and Abel kept flocks.  One day they brought offerings to the Lord.  The Lord was pleased with Abel's offering, but not Cain's.  Cain was very angry.  Verse 6 says that the Lord asked Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”  Cain took Abel into the fields and killed him. When asked by the Lord where Abel was, Cain lied and told him that he did not know.  Cain was condemned to suffering for the rest of his life.

In the Qu'ran al Ma'ida 27-32, the story is told conversationally. Cain and Abel are not called out by name, but are referred to as the "two sons of Adam."  In Verse 27, Yusalifi says, " Recite to them the truth of the story of the two sons of Adam. Behold! they each presented a sacrifice (to Allah): It was accepted from one, but not from the other. Said the latter: "Be sure I will slay thee." "Surely," said the former, "Allah doth accept of the sacrifice of those who are righteous. "  Then Pickthal says, "But recite unto them with truth the tale of the two sons of Adam, how they offered each a sacrifice, and it was accepted from the one of them and it was not accepted from the other. (The one) said: I will surely kill thee. (The other) answered: Allah accepteth only from those who ward off (evil)."  

The murder of Abel is expressed in Verse 30, "The (selfish) soul of the other led him to the murder of his brother: he murdered him, and became (himself) one of the lost ones." The Qu'ran goes on to say that killing or saving another human being is the equivalent of killing or saving all of mankind.  This is offered up as proof that Allah is sovereign.

Although both readings tell the story of the murder of Abel by Cain, the messages are completely different.  In the New Testament, the message is that there are consequences for your actions, while in the Qu'ran, the message is that Cain's actions are akin to waging war against Allah.

Relevance of the Bible in today's times

For the purposes of this blog post, I will refer to the New Testament as the Bible.

In class, we discussed the purpose of the Bible.  Many people said that it was to provide a moral code for humans to follow.  In many respects, I agree.  Many of the stories don't ring true, but the messages do.  I have never been a religious person and admittedly, I have never delved into the Bible.  I am, however, familiar with the Ten Commandments and how they are relevant to modern society.

The Ten Commandments are the epitome of a moral code "written in stone."  Many of the commandments refer to acts that should not be committed, such as adultery, murder, theft, and dishonesty.  In today's society, I think it so important that we abide by some of these commandments. Unfortunately, there has been a degradation of what is morally correct and we see people go against what is right.

Exodus 20:14 says, "You shall not commit adultery."  Unfortunately, adultery has become commonplace.  In fact, there was a recent computer hack that released thousands of names of people who had created accounts on a website called Ashley Madison.  This website's sole purpose was to allow married people to meet other married people for the purposes of having a sexual encounter.  The consequences of committing adultery are significantly impacting America's families.  This selfish act can be absolutely devastating to a marriage.  Adulterous relationships cause marriages to break up.  If the family has children, their young lives are forever changed.  The ideal family, psychologically speaking, has a mother and father who are in a committed, caring, happy relationship.  Children absolutely need an intact, nurturing home to thrive.  Many people disagree and see nothing wrong with raising children alone.  They say their children aren't affected.  Although there are exceptions to every rule, I beg to differ with this mindset.

So does the Bible have a place in modern society.  I think so.  Even if you are not religious, it's important to have a moral compass.  The Bible provides an excellent starting point to guide you in the right direction.  Exodus 20:18 says that after God spoke the Ten Commandments, "...the people saw the thunder and lightening and heard the trumpet and saw they mountain in smoke, [and] they trembled with fear."  If people in modern society lived with a little fear of the possible repercussions of not following the moral code found in the Bible, than society might be a better place.

Opposites in Daodejing

In paragraph two of the Daodejing, Laozi clearly expresses opposites.  He talks about beautiful having ugly; good having bad; how something and nothing produce each other and so on.  I think the point is that with opposites, you find balance.

Depending on where you are in your life, opposites are either good or bad.  They can be used to balance your life.  If you're having a hard time, you know that the possibility of an easier time exists.  Opposites allow us to think positively or even negatively.  They give us something to look forward to or to something to put behind us.

Think about life in general.  Each day, we have day and night.  We have male and female.  We have sickness and health.  We have good and bad.  Some of these things exist for us to exist.  Now imagine a life without opposites.  If things were only bad, life would not matter.  If things were always good, life would be boring.  Not having opposites could mean that we lead meaningless lives or might lead to the complete loss of our existence.

Confucianism and the Presidency

When I think about which presidential candidate most exemplifies the principles of Confucianism, I can't help but immediately think of Dr. Ben Carson.  The core values of Confucianism are ritual, social roles (humans owe each other goodness and humanity) and efficient action (following social norms and becoming a harmonious member of society).  Ben Carson follows Confucius's ideas of social roles and efficient action.

Dr. Carson grew up in very poor circumstances in Detroit, Michigan.  His father was not in the picture and his mother worked two and sometimes three jobs to support her family.  This meant that Ben and his brother, Curtis might go days without seeing their mother.  The difficulties their family faced left Ben angry and failing in school.  His mother valued education and worked very hard to ensure that Ben and his brother focused on school.  In time, Ben rose to top and graduated from high school with honors.  He worked his way through Yale and then went to the School of Medicine at the University of Michigan.

Even with all of these successes, Ben still had a raging temper that sometimes became violent.  He recognized that he was making everything about him and decided to change.  He changed his behavior and soon he prospered.

He accepted a residency at one of the United States leading hospitals, Johns Hopkins.  He excelled and soon become the chief resident in neurosurgery.  This led him to a job in Australia, where he excelled and participated in several surgeries separating Siamese Twins.  Eventually, he returned to Johns Hopkins and became the Chief of Pediatric Neurosurgery.

He is a philanthropist who travels extensively to schools and hospitals to tell his story of achieving success in spite of his difficult childhood.  His dedication to helping young people led to him establishing the Carson Scholarship Fund in 1994.

Dr. Ben Carson exhibits Confucianism by being a harmonious member of society and by showing goodness and humanity through his efforts in helping others.

Is the War in Syria a Just War?

I don't think the U.S. is at war with Syria.  I think this is a Syrian war against it's own people that has become a minor nuisance for the U.S. government, in that extremist groups are quickly gaining control of much of the region.

The war in Syria started after 15 schoolchildren were arrested and tortured for writing anti-government graffiti on a wall.  Protests and a demand for release of the children, led to an attack on the townspeople by the government's soldiers.

This simple story has now led to an all out assault on the people of Syria.  Rebel groups, who were supported by the U.S., are warring with the Syrian government, demanding that President Assad step down.  Extremist groups have taken advantage of the situation and have come in and brutally taken over parts of Syria.

The U.S. has attempted to intervene by way of a few airstrikes that are doing little to stop the tide of Syrian government and the  Islamic extremists.  The Syrian government has used chemical weapons on it's very own citizens.  The extremist groups continue to rape, brutalize and behead anyone who stands in their way, including foreign aid workers.

So, is this war a just war?  I don't think so.  A just war means that you have an impact that hopefully ends the conflict.  There is an end to a means.  The minimal effort that the U.S. has given to fighting this war, has done very little, if anything to stem the tide of brutality in Syria.  In fact, the extremist groups are controlling more and more of the country.  You cannot pour a glass of water on a house fire and expect it to go out.

Could it become a just war?  Possibly, but only if the U.S. efforts are amped up significantly and batter the enemy into submission or flight.  Sometimes we have to accept that progress is not being made and our efforts might be worthless.

What Is An Eternal Soul?

As a Christian, I definitely believe in a higher power, although I have never practiced religion.  I try to live a good life by being kind, caring and morally upright.

As Christians, we share in the belief of eternal life.  We believe that after death, our soul either goes to heaven or hell for eternity.  Of course, we cannot scientifically prove this to be true.

I do think there is a heaven and hell, where you live eternally.  According to the Bible, getting into heaven requires that you accept God as your savior and serve him.  I don't believe that you have to attend worship services to accomplish this.  You can serve God in other ways.  You can pray.  You can encourage and build other people up.  You can be kind.  You can do your best to do the right thing.  It's really not that hard.

So what is an eternal soul?  To me it is the "heart" of a person living an eternal life in "paradise" where everything is beautiful, peaceful, serene and soft.  There is no pain, disease, famine or war.  Everything is wonderful.

The problem is that I don't understand the purpose.  I don't understand why humans feel this is necessary.  I think the concept of an eternal soul might be a way of avoiding the belief that there may be nothing left of us after we physically die.

But we can leave something after we die... a legacy.   Do something of value while on Earth, from which others can benefit.  Love and encourage your spouse and children, take care of yourself, help the less fortunate, don't judge others, be excellent in all you do, make your life about something bigger than you.  If you do these things, you will leave a legacy and that's good enough for me.

I'm a Man?

Answering the question of what I would do if I woke up as the opposite gender has been really difficult.  This is not something I have ever thought of doing.  I think if this happened to me, I would be upset and want to change back as quickly as possible.

I like being a woman.  I like having a caring, nurturing side as opposed to a rough, tough side.  Don't get me wrong, there are definite plusses to being a male in our society, but being a woman has it's rewards as well.  In fact, studies show that in the United States, women live longer than men. Some of things that I enjoy about being a women, that are not experienced by men, include the joy of carrying life and becoming a mother, along with the fun of doing your makeup and hair.

But that doesn't really answer the question.  If I woke up as a man, I would go to the bathroom and stand up to pee.  Yes, I would simply stand up and pee!  Oh and then I would put the toilet seat down. That's important fellows.  Now it's time for me to figure out how to get back to being a female.

Going Back to School

One of the biggest changes in my life has been the decision to go back to college to earn my Bachelor's Degree.

I graduated from high school in 1986 and headed for college at the University of Maryland campus in Munich, Germany.  I had always been an A/B student and once I arrived in Munich that all changed.  I decided that partying was a higher priority than attending class or completing classwork.  After one year of mostly C's, my parents told me they were no longer paying for school.  I had no other option than to come home.

In the late 1980's, I decided to join the Air Force and while in the service, I sporadically took night classes that allowed me to get my Associate's Degree in 1999.  At that point in time, I was fine with not pushing to get my Bachelor's.

I retired from the Air Force in 2008 and decided to stay home with my kids.  I did not work and I did not pursue any further education.  I loved being a stay at home mom, but I was also bored to tears.  I needed to interact with adults.

In 2012, I got a job as a receptionist at the Social Security Administration's Office of Disability Adjudication and Review in Macon, Georgia.  I really loved my job and after a year, the director promoted me to a position as the Hearing Office Scheduler.  SSA was not able to hire at that time and so everyone in the office rotated through the reception position for four hours per month.  As the scheduler, I worked hard and after about three months, I successfully cleared the Macon office's backlog. I felt great!  That's when things changed.

Our director retired and we got an interim director who decided, for no other reason than to appease other personnel who were complaining about having to work the reception desk, to call me into his office and tell me that I was probably going to move back to the receptionist position.  At first, I told him that I was a team player and that I would do whatever the office required.  I went home that night and started to get angry.  I felt like the interim director was trying to keep a few complainers happy, rather than keeping me in a position where I excelled.

The next day, I went to see the director and I told him that I wasn't happy with his decision.  I told him that I should never have been promoted, if there was even a minute chance that I might have to go back the front desk.  At that point, he asked me if I was refusing to move.  I told him, I wasn't sure yet and the he said, "If you are refusing to go back to the front desk, then I have to do what's best for the agency."  At that point, I realized I was just a number.  I told him I was going home for the day and I would let him know my decision the next day.

Luckily for me, I didn't need the job for financial reasons, as I received my military retirement pay.  I wanted the job so I could have a purpose.  I spoke with my husband and told him that my education benefits earned from my military service, would expire in a few years.  He told me he would support any decision, I made.

The next day, I turned in my resignation letter to my director and our lead judge.  For two weeks, they both begged me to stay.  But the damage had already been done.  I was not going to continue to work somewhere, where hard workers were not recognized for their accomplishments and complainers were allowed to drive management decisions.

I decided to go back to school full time and get my Bachelor's degree.  I have now been in school since August 2014.  I was really nervous about attending classes, because I felt like it would be difficult dealing with other students who might have a completely different outlook on things than me.  Surprisingly, that has not been the case.  One of the first classes I took was American Government.  One class per week was devoted to lecture and the other class was devoted to debate.  There were many times, when my opinion on a matter was completely different than the remainder of the class.  I remember sometimes being the only person raising her hand on a topic.  But there were many times, where after laying out my opinion to the class, other students changed their viewpoint and agreed with me.

Becoming a student in my late 40's has been a real adjustment, but it's one I have embraced.  I thoroughly enjoy coming to school and learning new things and making new friends.  I hope to have my Bachelor's in Health Services Administration within the next year and then move onto a new job.

P.S.  I would like to give you a bit of advice.  Please stay in school.   It might seem like a drag now, but it's an even bigger drag, when you have major responsibilities to take care of like paying bills and supporting a family.

My Personal Tragedy

Tragedy is defined as "an event causing great suffering, destruction, and distress, such as a serious accident, crime, or natural catastrophe." 

When I try to think about the tragedies in my life, I really haven't experienced any personal tragedies. I have experienced things that could have been considered tragedies by some...a miscarriage, the flooding of my home from a hurricane and the accidental death of my grandmother, but none of these events affected me in a way that caused great suffering, destruction, or distress.

The great suffering and distress associated with tragic events is relative to each person.  How we deal with pain is different.  Something that might be tragic to you, might not be tragic to me.  When I had a miscarriage in 1998, I was distraught.  The thought of losing the baby, that my husband and I were so excited to have in our lives, did a number on me.  I did suffer for a short time, but I wouldn't call it "great suffering."  I very quickly began to heal and get on with life.  Other people miscarry and never get past it.  They suffer for the remainder of their lives.  Maybe it's a choice.  Maybe it's how we're wired.  How one views a tragedy definitely impacts the level of suffering and distress one feels.

Our Shared Tragedy ~ September 11, 2001

Many of you were too young to really feel and understand the impact of September 11th, 2001.

On that beautiful Tuesday, I was a 33-year old married, mother of two, with a third child on the way, living in Spangdahlem, Germany, as a member of the Air Force.

It was a gorgeous fall day and my parents were spending the last days of their visit from the States, with my family.  We had been out most of the day exploring the beautiful scenery of Germany and we arrived home around 3 pm.  It would have been 9 am in New York City.  I went into the kitchen to prepare some drinks and my father sat down and turned on the television.  He called us to the tv and we saw the fire engulfing the North Tower of the World Trade Center.  He said a plane crashed into the building.  We thought that it was nothing more than a tragic accident.

As we continued to watch and chat about how horrible the accident was, we watched in horror as the second plane flew into the South Tower.  I think I literally went into shock.  The realization that this could not be coincidental and that there was something more evil working here, was too much to wrap my brain around.  I freaked out.  I immediately ran to my car and called my husband.  I begged him to come home and then I drove as fast as I could to pick up my kids at their school.  I just wanted my family to be together, so I could feel safe.

Over the next few days, we were transfixed to the tv screen.  My parents' flight home was delayed and I was happy about that.  I never wanted them to leave, but six days later they finally were allowed to get on a plane.  That was a scary day for me.

My feelings of safety and security changed on 9/11.  When we moved back to the United States in 2002, I had to fly.  I was nervous, but somehow made it through the flight.  Did I check out every person boarding that flight?  Absolutely.  Could I have done anything about the people I stereotyped as shady?  Absolutely not.

I did not fly for many years.  In 2012, my family and I had to fly for seven hours to Washington state to attend a family reunion.  I was a nervous wreck.  I could't sleep for two weeks and so I prepared by getting a Valium from my doctor and then sleeping on the flight there and back.  I couldn't enjoy the reunion, due to my ongoing fear of flying home.

This year, my husband and I celebrated our 25th anniversary.  He wanted to go on a trip to England, where we met.  I had never told him my fear.  Thankfully, I was able to use the excuse that it was too expensive and thus avoided the prospect of flying.  I thought that would be the end of it, but then he suggested New York City.  For some reason I agreed, then I got to work.  I started seeing a therapist to work on my fear of flying.

After several meetings, she told me that I probably had mild PTSD.  What?  PTSD is for people who have seen and experienced life-threatening events.  That wasn't me.  Wait!  That's what happened to all of us.  We may not have been in New York City on 9/11, but we experienced the horror of that day too.  For 14 years, I have probably suffered from PTSD brought on by the tragedy of that day.  So what did I do about it?

I decided to take back power and control of my life.  I decided that I had fallen off the horse, but I was getting back on.  The events of 9/11 and the actions of those terrorists were not going to take away the fabulous parts of life that I could experience.

In May 2015, I flew to New York City with my husband.  It was exciting.  I used a lot of techniques, that helped me sleep just fine, get on the plane and actually enjoy the flight.  It was worth it!  I've been to so many great places, but New York City was an experience like no other.  The energy is crazy and wonderful and exciting!  It was, by far,  the best vacation I have ever taken.

I am not completely cured, nor do I think I will ever be.  I have to continue to use techniques to get me through the scary thoughts.  Since that flight in May though, I have flown two more times.  My trip to NYC was so wonderful, that I have planned another trip there with my mom and sister in December to go Christmas shopping.  I am very excited!

So I snub my nose at those terrorists.  They thought they could break me.  They thought they could break us.  They were successful for awhile, but no more.  I am a 47-year old married, mother of three, living in Warner Robins, Georgia, as a retired Air Force veteran and I soar!

Here are some pictures of Ground Zero (The Pools of Reflection and 1 World Trade Center.)  It's weird to say, but it is a beautiful place.  If you have an opportunity to go see it, please do.

Achilles has the characteristics of an epic hero.

In my last post, I talked about three characteristics of an epic hero, according to Gregory Nagy of the Center for Hellenic Studies at Harvard University.  There are however other viewpoints on what it takes to be an epic hero.  In researching this topic, I found that the number of characteristics ranges from three to thirteen.  I have narrowed them down to four main characteristics.

• He is celebrated in his society and embraces its morals and values
• He is "above" the regular people, because he is smarter and stronger
• He is on a journey to seek something that is of great value
• He is a demigod who has human weakness

Achilles is an example of an epic hero, who has these characteristics.  In The Illiad, his community values him because of his abilities as a great warrior.  He had heroic value that many Greeks strived to achieve. 

Because of his deeds in battle, he was viewed as stronger and thus had a higher perceived status in his community.  He was a celebrity of sorts.  

His journey begins after Zeus says only he can prevent the destruction of Greece.  Saving the Greek people and its way of life are of great value to Achilles.

A demigod is the child of a God and a human.  Achille's mother was Thetis, a sea nymph and Peleus, the king of a tribe called Myrmidons.  His human weakness was his heel.  When he was a baby, he was dipped in the river waters, to free him from all harm, but he was held by the heel, and it never touched the waters.  

There can be no argument that Achilles met these requirements of an epic hero.  Tragically, it is his human weakness that ultimately leads to his demise.

Is it possible to have an epic hero in modern society?

According to Gregory Nagy of the Center for Hellenic Studies at Harvard University, an epic hero has three general characteristics.  First, he is unseasonal.  His story goes beyond the time he existed.  Second, he is extreme, both positively and negatively.  Lastly, he is antagonistic or hostile towards someone or something else.

Is it possible to have an epic hero in modern society?  Maybe.  Are the three characteristics possible in modern society.  Probably, however I can think of no real world examples of an epic hero in our society.  In tv and film, we see epic heroes all the time.  Batman, for example, could be considered an epic hero.  Let us evaluate by determining whether or not he has the three characteristics stated above.

Is Batman's story unseasonal?  Yes.  The idea of saving the human race from death and destruction is prominent in both ancient and modern stories and Batman works to save the citizens of Gotham City from villains who attempt to disrupt their way of life.  This story transcends time.

Is Batman extreme?  Yes, he has positive and negative traits.  Positively, he works to rid Gotham City of criminal elements.  Are his motives selfless?  I am not sure, but for the purpose of this discussion, I will assume they are. Negatively, he takes the law into his own hands and reconciles the killing of innocent citizens as an end to a means.  Some citizens of Gotham City believe his actions actually lure villains into the city.  He believes that he is working towards justice.

Is Batman antagonistic?  Absolutely.  His first enemy was Joe Chill, who murdered his parents when he was a child.  He decides to enact revenge on Joe Chill, by killing him, but he is beaten to it by a mafia boss.  He is told by a childhood friend that power comes from fear and so he goes to Gotham City to fight other enemies like The Joker, The Riddler and Bane.  He is hostile towards these villains because he takes their actions personally.

We definitely have plenty of heroes in modern society, but I do not think we have any epic heroes.

Why do we need heroes?

We live in a immoral, troubled, evil society.  For many people, there is little belief that there is good in the world.  Having a hero helps, in many ways, to balance the good and bad that we see everyday.

In Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, the most fundamental need is physiological or basic survival.  Air, water, food, clothing and shelter are all physiological needs that must be met before one can move up to the need for safety.

We need a sense of safety especially when we are immersed in a cold, unforgiving world.  Heroes are one tool for affirming our feeling of safety.  Heroes save us when we are in trouble.  They pick us up when we have fallen.  They solve problems and give us justice.  They give us hope that the world can be a better place.

Think about all the horrific things we see going on today...war, famine, beheadings, cop shootings, domestic violence, abuse.  Now think about the heroes who fight against these horrifying acts each and every day.  We absolutely need them.  We need them, so we can feel safe and at peace.

Will our world ever be free of evil?  Absolutely not.  But knowing there are people, strangers even, who have your back, is so important in making it possible for you to walk out of your front door and live your life.

Athletes are not heroes

Many people say that professional athletes are heroes.  According to Google, a hero is "a person, typically a man, who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities."  While many athletes have made outstanding achievements in their sport, that hardly qualifies them for hero status.

Heroes are courageous.  They do the right thing when nobody is watching.  Their actions are not self serving.  They are humble and few wish to receive praise for their heroic acts.  For many, the accolades they receive are a bit embarrassing.

Heroes are the brave men and women who leave their families for faraway lands and protect our freedoms as Americans.  Heroes are the brave men and women in blue, who patrol the streets and hope their next traffic stop is not their last.  Heroes are the brave men and women who run into the fire to save a family from absolute tragedy.

Heroes are brave men like John Levitow.  John Levitow was an Air Force Loadmaster during the Vietnam War.  In 1969, the AC-47 Spooky aircraft he was flying on, was hit by a mortar round that destroyed part of the aircraft and severely injured many of the men on board.  When the attack occurred, a live flare was thrown from the hand of his crewmate.  It was rolling around the aircraft floor and was dangerously close to ammunition cans that contained 19,000 rounds of live ammunition.  Fighting against the 30 degree bank that the aircraft was flying, he pulled his shrapnel ridden body to the flare, dragged it to the cargo door, and threw it out within seconds of it detonating.  

In 1970, he was awarded The Medal of Honor.  The Medal of Honor is the United States' highest military honor, awarded for personal acts of valor above and beyond the call of duty.

I had the honor of once listening to John Levitow speak.  He said, "I am no hero.  I am just a man who was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

John Levitow was a humble, courageous man, who did the right thing when nobody was looking and who did not want to receive praise for his actions.  John Levitow was a true hero.

  

Turning yourself on! (Get your mind out of the gutter)

In all this talk about eroticism, a question came to my mind.  Some of the eroticism posts have mentioned that eroticism occurs between two people...an erotic "giver"(stimuli) and a receiver.  While I completely agree that this is the norm, I wondered, can you experience eroticism by yourself?  Can you be both the stimulus and the receiver?

I think you can.  Think about how you feel on your worst day.  You know, the day when you drag yourself out of bed, after hitting the snooze button three times.  The day when you don't have time to shower, put on your face or do your hair.  You look in the mirror and there is absolutely nothing sexy going on.

But what about those other days, when you put your best foot forward.  The day when you get praise at work for a job well done.  The day when people turn their heads as you walk in the door.  Look in the mirror then and tell me that the exuding of confidence that you've experienced, is not making you feel like a sexy beast!

I am the textbook definition of non-sexy.  I'm a 47 year old woman, who's pudgy with stretch marks as reminders of the three wonderful children I've birthed; wrinkled, scarred skin from a decade of sun worshipping in my 20's and several pairs of "mom" jeans.  But I also have a lot of life experiences that have made me feel worthy and confident.  I look in the mirror and when I look hard enough, behind my trifocals, I see the sexy.  When I see that sexy, I feel erotic...then I find my husband of 25 years and his smile, upon seeing me, reminds me that he is not the only receiver of my eroticism.

Too much information?  Maybe, but I want to help you.  This stuff that can take years to learn.  Live it now and see what I mean. :)

Blatant and Subtle Eroticism in Song

Eroticism can be defined as something that provokes a sexual feeling or desire.  Throughout history, songs have played a tremendous role in the manifestation feelings of eroticism. 

When looking for eroticism in modern song, many people will think of songs like Prince’s “Nikki” or Ginuwine’s “Pony”.  In “Nikki”, Prince says [he] “met her in a hotel lobby…She said how'd you like to waste some time.”  Eroticism is evident in the fantasy that Prince can meet a woman and be immediately seduced.  In Ginuwine’s “Pony”, he says, “If you're horny, let’s do it, ride it, my pony.”  For many people, these “in your face” lyrics are a suitable way of being provoked sexually.  

While the blatantly sexual lyrics of both songs can be viewed as erotic, They reference quick, anonymous liaisons   It is my opinion that for many women, subtle references to sex with love are more sensual and therefore, more erotic.  These subtle hints create mystery and allow the listener to define their own fantasy. 

Terrence Trent Darby sang of "Kissing like a bandit/Stealing time/Underneath the sycamore tree." in his 1987 hit song, "Wishing Well."  He has finally caught the woman that he has been wanting.  For many women, there is a thrill in the chase.  The art of resisting a man's advances, causing him to desire you even more is extremely erotic, because it plays on the notion that YOU are the head of the pack.  

Mazzy Star’s “Fade Into You” exemplifies the subtlety of lyrics that might “turn you on.”  Vocalist Hope Sandoval sings, “I want to hold the hand inside you.  I want to take a breath that's true…Fade into you.  Strange you never knew.”  She may be singing of unrequited love.  She wants to “fade” or become "one" with a person who has no idea of her true feelings.  Knowing that love or desire might never be returned, is a common theme in erotic songs.  The eroticism in this song comes from both the feeling invoked by the singer’s breathy, sensual, suggestive voice and the idea that one can yearn so deeply for someone who will never love them back.  There is a sense of hope for the singer, but it is the sense of mystery and yearning that are erotic.

In today's world, it really does not matter whether you prefer blatant or subtle eroticism in song.  There is no right or wrong answer   It is more important that the connections you make are fulfilling and lead to your happiness.