Answering the question of what I would do if I woke up as the opposite gender has been really difficult. This is not something I have ever thought of doing. I think if this happened to me, I would be upset and want to change back as quickly as possible.
I like being a woman. I like having a caring, nurturing side as opposed to a rough, tough side. Don't get me wrong, there are definite plusses to being a male in our society, but being a woman has it's rewards as well. In fact, studies show that in the United States, women live longer than men. Some of things that I enjoy about being a women, that are not experienced by men, include the joy of carrying life and becoming a mother, along with the fun of doing your makeup and hair.
But that doesn't really answer the question. If I woke up as a man, I would go to the bathroom and stand up to pee. Yes, I would simply stand up and pee! Oh and then I would put the toilet seat down. That's important fellows. Now it's time for me to figure out how to get back to being a female.
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Saturday, September 26, 2015
Going Back to School
One of the biggest changes in my life has been the decision to go back to college to earn my Bachelor's Degree.
I graduated from high school in 1986 and headed for college at the University of Maryland campus in Munich, Germany. I had always been an A/B student and once I arrived in Munich that all changed. I decided that partying was a higher priority than attending class or completing classwork. After one year of mostly C's, my parents told me they were no longer paying for school. I had no other option than to come home.
In the late 1980's, I decided to join the Air Force and while in the service, I sporadically took night classes that allowed me to get my Associate's Degree in 1999. At that point in time, I was fine with not pushing to get my Bachelor's.
I retired from the Air Force in 2008 and decided to stay home with my kids. I did not work and I did not pursue any further education. I loved being a stay at home mom, but I was also bored to tears. I needed to interact with adults.
In 2012, I got a job as a receptionist at the Social Security Administration's Office of Disability Adjudication and Review in Macon, Georgia. I really loved my job and after a year, the director promoted me to a position as the Hearing Office Scheduler. SSA was not able to hire at that time and so everyone in the office rotated through the reception position for four hours per month. As the scheduler, I worked hard and after about three months, I successfully cleared the Macon office's backlog. I felt great! That's when things changed.
Our director retired and we got an interim director who decided, for no other reason than to appease other personnel who were complaining about having to work the reception desk, to call me into his office and tell me that I was probably going to move back to the receptionist position. At first, I told him that I was a team player and that I would do whatever the office required. I went home that night and started to get angry. I felt like the interim director was trying to keep a few complainers happy, rather than keeping me in a position where I excelled.
The next day, I went to see the director and I told him that I wasn't happy with his decision. I told him that I should never have been promoted, if there was even a minute chance that I might have to go back the front desk. At that point, he asked me if I was refusing to move. I told him, I wasn't sure yet and the he said, "If you are refusing to go back to the front desk, then I have to do what's best for the agency." At that point, I realized I was just a number. I told him I was going home for the day and I would let him know my decision the next day.
Luckily for me, I didn't need the job for financial reasons, as I received my military retirement pay. I wanted the job so I could have a purpose. I spoke with my husband and told him that my education benefits earned from my military service, would expire in a few years. He told me he would support any decision, I made.
The next day, I turned in my resignation letter to my director and our lead judge. For two weeks, they both begged me to stay. But the damage had already been done. I was not going to continue to work somewhere, where hard workers were not recognized for their accomplishments and complainers were allowed to drive management decisions.
I decided to go back to school full time and get my Bachelor's degree. I have now been in school since August 2014. I was really nervous about attending classes, because I felt like it would be difficult dealing with other students who might have a completely different outlook on things than me. Surprisingly, that has not been the case. One of the first classes I took was American Government. One class per week was devoted to lecture and the other class was devoted to debate. There were many times, when my opinion on a matter was completely different than the remainder of the class. I remember sometimes being the only person raising her hand on a topic. But there were many times, where after laying out my opinion to the class, other students changed their viewpoint and agreed with me.
Becoming a student in my late 40's has been a real adjustment, but it's one I have embraced. I thoroughly enjoy coming to school and learning new things and making new friends. I hope to have my Bachelor's in Health Services Administration within the next year and then move onto a new job.
P.S. I would like to give you a bit of advice. Please stay in school. It might seem like a drag now, but it's an even bigger drag, when you have major responsibilities to take care of like paying bills and supporting a family.
I graduated from high school in 1986 and headed for college at the University of Maryland campus in Munich, Germany. I had always been an A/B student and once I arrived in Munich that all changed. I decided that partying was a higher priority than attending class or completing classwork. After one year of mostly C's, my parents told me they were no longer paying for school. I had no other option than to come home.
In the late 1980's, I decided to join the Air Force and while in the service, I sporadically took night classes that allowed me to get my Associate's Degree in 1999. At that point in time, I was fine with not pushing to get my Bachelor's.
I retired from the Air Force in 2008 and decided to stay home with my kids. I did not work and I did not pursue any further education. I loved being a stay at home mom, but I was also bored to tears. I needed to interact with adults.
In 2012, I got a job as a receptionist at the Social Security Administration's Office of Disability Adjudication and Review in Macon, Georgia. I really loved my job and after a year, the director promoted me to a position as the Hearing Office Scheduler. SSA was not able to hire at that time and so everyone in the office rotated through the reception position for four hours per month. As the scheduler, I worked hard and after about three months, I successfully cleared the Macon office's backlog. I felt great! That's when things changed.
Our director retired and we got an interim director who decided, for no other reason than to appease other personnel who were complaining about having to work the reception desk, to call me into his office and tell me that I was probably going to move back to the receptionist position. At first, I told him that I was a team player and that I would do whatever the office required. I went home that night and started to get angry. I felt like the interim director was trying to keep a few complainers happy, rather than keeping me in a position where I excelled.
The next day, I went to see the director and I told him that I wasn't happy with his decision. I told him that I should never have been promoted, if there was even a minute chance that I might have to go back the front desk. At that point, he asked me if I was refusing to move. I told him, I wasn't sure yet and the he said, "If you are refusing to go back to the front desk, then I have to do what's best for the agency." At that point, I realized I was just a number. I told him I was going home for the day and I would let him know my decision the next day.
Luckily for me, I didn't need the job for financial reasons, as I received my military retirement pay. I wanted the job so I could have a purpose. I spoke with my husband and told him that my education benefits earned from my military service, would expire in a few years. He told me he would support any decision, I made.
The next day, I turned in my resignation letter to my director and our lead judge. For two weeks, they both begged me to stay. But the damage had already been done. I was not going to continue to work somewhere, where hard workers were not recognized for their accomplishments and complainers were allowed to drive management decisions.
I decided to go back to school full time and get my Bachelor's degree. I have now been in school since August 2014. I was really nervous about attending classes, because I felt like it would be difficult dealing with other students who might have a completely different outlook on things than me. Surprisingly, that has not been the case. One of the first classes I took was American Government. One class per week was devoted to lecture and the other class was devoted to debate. There were many times, when my opinion on a matter was completely different than the remainder of the class. I remember sometimes being the only person raising her hand on a topic. But there were many times, where after laying out my opinion to the class, other students changed their viewpoint and agreed with me.
Becoming a student in my late 40's has been a real adjustment, but it's one I have embraced. I thoroughly enjoy coming to school and learning new things and making new friends. I hope to have my Bachelor's in Health Services Administration within the next year and then move onto a new job.
P.S. I would like to give you a bit of advice. Please stay in school. It might seem like a drag now, but it's an even bigger drag, when you have major responsibilities to take care of like paying bills and supporting a family.
Sunday, September 20, 2015
My Personal Tragedy
Tragedy is defined as "an event causing great suffering, destruction, and distress, such as a serious accident, crime, or natural catastrophe."
When I try to think about the tragedies in my life, I really haven't experienced any personal tragedies. I have experienced things that could have been considered tragedies by some...a miscarriage, the flooding of my home from a hurricane and the accidental death of my grandmother, but none of these events affected me in a way that caused great suffering, destruction, or distress.
The great suffering and distress associated with tragic events is relative to each person. How we deal with pain is different. Something that might be tragic to you, might not be tragic to me. When I had a miscarriage in 1998, I was distraught. The thought of losing the baby, that my husband and I were so excited to have in our lives, did a number on me. I did suffer for a short time, but I wouldn't call it "great suffering." I very quickly began to heal and get on with life. Other people miscarry and never get past it. They suffer for the remainder of their lives. Maybe it's a choice. Maybe it's how we're wired. How one views a tragedy definitely impacts the level of suffering and distress one feels.
When I try to think about the tragedies in my life, I really haven't experienced any personal tragedies. I have experienced things that could have been considered tragedies by some...a miscarriage, the flooding of my home from a hurricane and the accidental death of my grandmother, but none of these events affected me in a way that caused great suffering, destruction, or distress.
The great suffering and distress associated with tragic events is relative to each person. How we deal with pain is different. Something that might be tragic to you, might not be tragic to me. When I had a miscarriage in 1998, I was distraught. The thought of losing the baby, that my husband and I were so excited to have in our lives, did a number on me. I did suffer for a short time, but I wouldn't call it "great suffering." I very quickly began to heal and get on with life. Other people miscarry and never get past it. They suffer for the remainder of their lives. Maybe it's a choice. Maybe it's how we're wired. How one views a tragedy definitely impacts the level of suffering and distress one feels.
Saturday, September 19, 2015
Our Shared Tragedy ~ September 11, 2001
Many of you were too young to really feel and understand the impact of September 11th, 2001.
On that beautiful Tuesday, I was a 33-year old married, mother of two, with a third child on the way, living in Spangdahlem, Germany, as a member of the Air Force.
It was a gorgeous fall day and my parents were spending the last days of their visit from the States, with my family. We had been out most of the day exploring the beautiful scenery of Germany and we arrived home around 3 pm. It would have been 9 am in New York City. I went into the kitchen to prepare some drinks and my father sat down and turned on the television. He called us to the tv and we saw the fire engulfing the North Tower of the World Trade Center. He said a plane crashed into the building. We thought that it was nothing more than a tragic accident.
As we continued to watch and chat about how horrible the accident was, we watched in horror as the second plane flew into the South Tower. I think I literally went into shock. The realization that this could not be coincidental and that there was something more evil working here, was too much to wrap my brain around. I freaked out. I immediately ran to my car and called my husband. I begged him to come home and then I drove as fast as I could to pick up my kids at their school. I just wanted my family to be together, so I could feel safe.
Over the next few days, we were transfixed to the tv screen. My parents' flight home was delayed and I was happy about that. I never wanted them to leave, but six days later they finally were allowed to get on a plane. That was a scary day for me.
My feelings of safety and security changed on 9/11. When we moved back to the United States in 2002, I had to fly. I was nervous, but somehow made it through the flight. Did I check out every person boarding that flight? Absolutely. Could I have done anything about the people I stereotyped as shady? Absolutely not.
I did not fly for many years. In 2012, my family and I had to fly for seven hours to Washington state to attend a family reunion. I was a nervous wreck. I could't sleep for two weeks and so I prepared by getting a Valium from my doctor and then sleeping on the flight there and back. I couldn't enjoy the reunion, due to my ongoing fear of flying home.
This year, my husband and I celebrated our 25th anniversary. He wanted to go on a trip to England, where we met. I had never told him my fear. Thankfully, I was able to use the excuse that it was too expensive and thus avoided the prospect of flying. I thought that would be the end of it, but then he suggested New York City. For some reason I agreed, then I got to work. I started seeing a therapist to work on my fear of flying.
After several meetings, she told me that I probably had mild PTSD. What? PTSD is for people who have seen and experienced life-threatening events. That wasn't me. Wait! That's what happened to all of us. We may not have been in New York City on 9/11, but we experienced the horror of that day too. For 14 years, I have probably suffered from PTSD brought on by the tragedy of that day. So what did I do about it?
I decided to take back power and control of my life. I decided that I had fallen off the horse, but I was getting back on. The events of 9/11 and the actions of those terrorists were not going to take away the fabulous parts of life that I could experience.
In May 2015, I flew to New York City with my husband. It was exciting. I used a lot of techniques, that helped me sleep just fine, get on the plane and actually enjoy the flight. It was worth it! I've been to so many great places, but New York City was an experience like no other. The energy is crazy and wonderful and exciting! It was, by far, the best vacation I have ever taken.
I am not completely cured, nor do I think I will ever be. I have to continue to use techniques to get me through the scary thoughts. Since that flight in May though, I have flown two more times. My trip to NYC was so wonderful, that I have planned another trip there with my mom and sister in December to go Christmas shopping. I am very excited!
So I snub my nose at those terrorists. They thought they could break me. They thought they could break us. They were successful for awhile, but no more. I am a 47-year old married, mother of three, living in Warner Robins, Georgia, as a retired Air Force veteran and I soar!
Here are some pictures of Ground Zero (The Pools of Reflection and 1 World Trade Center.) It's weird to say, but it is a beautiful place. If you have an opportunity to go see it, please do.
On that beautiful Tuesday, I was a 33-year old married, mother of two, with a third child on the way, living in Spangdahlem, Germany, as a member of the Air Force.
It was a gorgeous fall day and my parents were spending the last days of their visit from the States, with my family. We had been out most of the day exploring the beautiful scenery of Germany and we arrived home around 3 pm. It would have been 9 am in New York City. I went into the kitchen to prepare some drinks and my father sat down and turned on the television. He called us to the tv and we saw the fire engulfing the North Tower of the World Trade Center. He said a plane crashed into the building. We thought that it was nothing more than a tragic accident.
As we continued to watch and chat about how horrible the accident was, we watched in horror as the second plane flew into the South Tower. I think I literally went into shock. The realization that this could not be coincidental and that there was something more evil working here, was too much to wrap my brain around. I freaked out. I immediately ran to my car and called my husband. I begged him to come home and then I drove as fast as I could to pick up my kids at their school. I just wanted my family to be together, so I could feel safe.
Over the next few days, we were transfixed to the tv screen. My parents' flight home was delayed and I was happy about that. I never wanted them to leave, but six days later they finally were allowed to get on a plane. That was a scary day for me.
My feelings of safety and security changed on 9/11. When we moved back to the United States in 2002, I had to fly. I was nervous, but somehow made it through the flight. Did I check out every person boarding that flight? Absolutely. Could I have done anything about the people I stereotyped as shady? Absolutely not.
I did not fly for many years. In 2012, my family and I had to fly for seven hours to Washington state to attend a family reunion. I was a nervous wreck. I could't sleep for two weeks and so I prepared by getting a Valium from my doctor and then sleeping on the flight there and back. I couldn't enjoy the reunion, due to my ongoing fear of flying home.
This year, my husband and I celebrated our 25th anniversary. He wanted to go on a trip to England, where we met. I had never told him my fear. Thankfully, I was able to use the excuse that it was too expensive and thus avoided the prospect of flying. I thought that would be the end of it, but then he suggested New York City. For some reason I agreed, then I got to work. I started seeing a therapist to work on my fear of flying.
After several meetings, she told me that I probably had mild PTSD. What? PTSD is for people who have seen and experienced life-threatening events. That wasn't me. Wait! That's what happened to all of us. We may not have been in New York City on 9/11, but we experienced the horror of that day too. For 14 years, I have probably suffered from PTSD brought on by the tragedy of that day. So what did I do about it?
I decided to take back power and control of my life. I decided that I had fallen off the horse, but I was getting back on. The events of 9/11 and the actions of those terrorists were not going to take away the fabulous parts of life that I could experience.
In May 2015, I flew to New York City with my husband. It was exciting. I used a lot of techniques, that helped me sleep just fine, get on the plane and actually enjoy the flight. It was worth it! I've been to so many great places, but New York City was an experience like no other. The energy is crazy and wonderful and exciting! It was, by far, the best vacation I have ever taken.
I am not completely cured, nor do I think I will ever be. I have to continue to use techniques to get me through the scary thoughts. Since that flight in May though, I have flown two more times. My trip to NYC was so wonderful, that I have planned another trip there with my mom and sister in December to go Christmas shopping. I am very excited!
So I snub my nose at those terrorists. They thought they could break me. They thought they could break us. They were successful for awhile, but no more. I am a 47-year old married, mother of three, living in Warner Robins, Georgia, as a retired Air Force veteran and I soar!
Here are some pictures of Ground Zero (The Pools of Reflection and 1 World Trade Center.) It's weird to say, but it is a beautiful place. If you have an opportunity to go see it, please do.
Achilles has the characteristics of an epic hero.
In my last post, I talked about three characteristics of an epic hero, according to Gregory Nagy of the Center for Hellenic Studies at Harvard University. There are however other viewpoints on what it takes to be an epic hero. In researching this topic, I found that the number of characteristics ranges from three to thirteen. I have narrowed them down to four main characteristics.
Achilles is an example of an epic hero, who has these characteristics. In The Illiad, his community values him because of his abilities as a great warrior. He had heroic value that many Greeks strived to achieve.
Because of his deeds in battle, he was viewed as stronger and thus had a higher perceived status in his community. He was a celebrity of sorts.
His journey begins after Zeus says only he can prevent the destruction of Greece. Saving the Greek people and its way of life are of great value to Achilles.
A demigod is the child of a God and a human. Achille's mother was Thetis, a sea nymph and Peleus, the king of a tribe called Myrmidons. His human weakness was his heel. When he was a baby, he was dipped in the river waters, to free him from all harm, but he was held by the heel, and it never touched the waters.
There can be no argument that Achilles met these requirements of an epic hero. Tragically, it is his human weakness that ultimately leads to his demise.
- He is celebrated in his society and embraces its morals and values
- He is "above" the regular people, because he is smarter and stronger
- He is on a journey to seek something that is of great value
- He is a demigod who has human weakness
Achilles is an example of an epic hero, who has these characteristics. In The Illiad, his community values him because of his abilities as a great warrior. He had heroic value that many Greeks strived to achieve.
Because of his deeds in battle, he was viewed as stronger and thus had a higher perceived status in his community. He was a celebrity of sorts.
His journey begins after Zeus says only he can prevent the destruction of Greece. Saving the Greek people and its way of life are of great value to Achilles.
A demigod is the child of a God and a human. Achille's mother was Thetis, a sea nymph and Peleus, the king of a tribe called Myrmidons. His human weakness was his heel. When he was a baby, he was dipped in the river waters, to free him from all harm, but he was held by the heel, and it never touched the waters.
There can be no argument that Achilles met these requirements of an epic hero. Tragically, it is his human weakness that ultimately leads to his demise.
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Is it possible to have an epic hero in modern society?
According to Gregory Nagy of the Center for Hellenic Studies at Harvard University, an epic hero has three general characteristics. First, he is unseasonal. His story goes beyond the time he existed. Second, he is extreme, both positively and negatively. Lastly, he is antagonistic or hostile towards someone or something else.
Is it possible to have an epic hero in modern society? Maybe. Are the three characteristics possible in modern society. Probably, however I can think of no real world examples of an epic hero in our society. In tv and film, we see epic heroes all the time. Batman, for example, could be considered an epic hero. Let us evaluate by determining whether or not he has the three characteristics stated above.
Is Batman's story unseasonal? Yes. The idea of saving the human race from death and destruction is prominent in both ancient and modern stories and Batman works to save the citizens of Gotham City from villains who attempt to disrupt their way of life. This story transcends time.
Is Batman extreme? Yes, he has positive and negative traits. Positively, he works to rid Gotham City of criminal elements. Are his motives selfless? I am not sure, but for the purpose of this discussion, I will assume they are. Negatively, he takes the law into his own hands and reconciles the killing of innocent citizens as an end to a means. Some citizens of Gotham City believe his actions actually lure villains into the city. He believes that he is working towards justice.
Is Batman antagonistic? Absolutely. His first enemy was Joe Chill, who murdered his parents when he was a child. He decides to enact revenge on Joe Chill, by killing him, but he is beaten to it by a mafia boss. He is told by a childhood friend that power comes from fear and so he goes to Gotham City to fight other enemies like The Joker, The Riddler and Bane. He is hostile towards these villains because he takes their actions personally.
We definitely have plenty of heroes in modern society, but I do not think we have any epic heroes.
Is it possible to have an epic hero in modern society? Maybe. Are the three characteristics possible in modern society. Probably, however I can think of no real world examples of an epic hero in our society. In tv and film, we see epic heroes all the time. Batman, for example, could be considered an epic hero. Let us evaluate by determining whether or not he has the three characteristics stated above.
Is Batman's story unseasonal? Yes. The idea of saving the human race from death and destruction is prominent in both ancient and modern stories and Batman works to save the citizens of Gotham City from villains who attempt to disrupt their way of life. This story transcends time.
Is Batman extreme? Yes, he has positive and negative traits. Positively, he works to rid Gotham City of criminal elements. Are his motives selfless? I am not sure, but for the purpose of this discussion, I will assume they are. Negatively, he takes the law into his own hands and reconciles the killing of innocent citizens as an end to a means. Some citizens of Gotham City believe his actions actually lure villains into the city. He believes that he is working towards justice.
Is Batman antagonistic? Absolutely. His first enemy was Joe Chill, who murdered his parents when he was a child. He decides to enact revenge on Joe Chill, by killing him, but he is beaten to it by a mafia boss. He is told by a childhood friend that power comes from fear and so he goes to Gotham City to fight other enemies like The Joker, The Riddler and Bane. He is hostile towards these villains because he takes their actions personally.
We definitely have plenty of heroes in modern society, but I do not think we have any epic heroes.
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Why do we need heroes?
We live in a immoral, troubled, evil society. For many people, there is little belief that there is good in the world. Having a hero helps, in many ways, to balance the good and bad that we see everyday.
In Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, the most fundamental need is physiological or basic survival. Air, water, food, clothing and shelter are all physiological needs that must be met before one can move up to the need for safety.
We need a sense of safety especially when we are immersed in a cold, unforgiving world. Heroes are one tool for affirming our feeling of safety. Heroes save us when we are in trouble. They pick us up when we have fallen. They solve problems and give us justice. They give us hope that the world can be a better place.
Think about all the horrific things we see going on today...war, famine, beheadings, cop shootings, domestic violence, abuse. Now think about the heroes who fight against these horrifying acts each and every day. We absolutely need them. We need them, so we can feel safe and at peace.
Will our world ever be free of evil? Absolutely not. But knowing there are people, strangers even, who have your back, is so important in making it possible for you to walk out of your front door and live your life.
In Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, the most fundamental need is physiological or basic survival. Air, water, food, clothing and shelter are all physiological needs that must be met before one can move up to the need for safety.
We need a sense of safety especially when we are immersed in a cold, unforgiving world. Heroes are one tool for affirming our feeling of safety. Heroes save us when we are in trouble. They pick us up when we have fallen. They solve problems and give us justice. They give us hope that the world can be a better place.
Think about all the horrific things we see going on today...war, famine, beheadings, cop shootings, domestic violence, abuse. Now think about the heroes who fight against these horrifying acts each and every day. We absolutely need them. We need them, so we can feel safe and at peace.
Will our world ever be free of evil? Absolutely not. But knowing there are people, strangers even, who have your back, is so important in making it possible for you to walk out of your front door and live your life.
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
Athletes are not heroes
Many people say that professional athletes are heroes. According to Google, a hero is "a person, typically a man, who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities." While many athletes have made outstanding achievements in their sport, that hardly qualifies them for hero status.
Heroes are courageous. They do the right thing when nobody is watching. Their actions are not self serving. They are humble and few wish to receive praise for their heroic acts. For many, the accolades they receive are a bit embarrassing.
Heroes are the brave men and women who leave their families for faraway lands and protect our freedoms as Americans. Heroes are the brave men and women in blue, who patrol the streets and hope their next traffic stop is not their last. Heroes are the brave men and women who run into the fire to save a family from absolute tragedy.
Heroes are brave men like John Levitow. John Levitow was an Air Force Loadmaster during the Vietnam War. In 1969, the AC-47 Spooky aircraft he was flying on, was hit by a mortar round that destroyed part of the aircraft and severely injured many of the men on board. When the attack occurred, a live flare was thrown from the hand of his crewmate. It was rolling around the aircraft floor and was dangerously close to ammunition cans that contained 19,000 rounds of live ammunition. Fighting against the 30 degree bank that the aircraft was flying, he pulled his shrapnel ridden body to the flare, dragged it to the cargo door, and threw it out within seconds of it detonating.
In 1970, he was awarded The Medal of Honor. The Medal of Honor is the United States' highest military honor, awarded for personal acts of valor above and beyond the call of duty.
In 1970, he was awarded The Medal of Honor. The Medal of Honor is the United States' highest military honor, awarded for personal acts of valor above and beyond the call of duty.
I had the honor of once listening to John Levitow speak. He said, "I am no hero. I am just a man who was in the wrong place at the wrong time."
John Levitow was a humble, courageous man, who did the right thing when nobody was looking and who did not want to receive praise for his actions. John Levitow was a true hero.
Friday, September 4, 2015
Turning yourself on! (Get your mind out of the gutter)
In all this talk about eroticism, a question came to my mind. Some of the eroticism posts have mentioned that eroticism occurs between two people...an erotic "giver"(stimuli) and a receiver. While I completely agree that this is the norm, I wondered, can you experience eroticism by yourself? Can you be both the stimulus and the receiver?
I think you can. Think about how you feel on your worst day. You know, the day when you drag yourself out of bed, after hitting the snooze button three times. The day when you don't have time to shower, put on your face or do your hair. You look in the mirror and there is absolutely nothing sexy going on.
But what about those other days, when you put your best foot forward. The day when you get praise at work for a job well done. The day when people turn their heads as you walk in the door. Look in the mirror then and tell me that the exuding of confidence that you've experienced, is not making you feel like a sexy beast!
I am the textbook definition of non-sexy. I'm a 47 year old woman, who's pudgy with stretch marks as reminders of the three wonderful children I've birthed; wrinkled, scarred skin from a decade of sun worshipping in my 20's and several pairs of "mom" jeans. But I also have a lot of life experiences that have made me feel worthy and confident. I look in the mirror and when I look hard enough, behind my trifocals, I see the sexy. When I see that sexy, I feel erotic...then I find my husband of 25 years and his smile, upon seeing me, reminds me that he is not the only receiver of my eroticism.
Too much information? Maybe, but I want to help you. This stuff that can take years to learn. Live it now and see what I mean. :)
I think you can. Think about how you feel on your worst day. You know, the day when you drag yourself out of bed, after hitting the snooze button three times. The day when you don't have time to shower, put on your face or do your hair. You look in the mirror and there is absolutely nothing sexy going on.
But what about those other days, when you put your best foot forward. The day when you get praise at work for a job well done. The day when people turn their heads as you walk in the door. Look in the mirror then and tell me that the exuding of confidence that you've experienced, is not making you feel like a sexy beast!
I am the textbook definition of non-sexy. I'm a 47 year old woman, who's pudgy with stretch marks as reminders of the three wonderful children I've birthed; wrinkled, scarred skin from a decade of sun worshipping in my 20's and several pairs of "mom" jeans. But I also have a lot of life experiences that have made me feel worthy and confident. I look in the mirror and when I look hard enough, behind my trifocals, I see the sexy. When I see that sexy, I feel erotic...then I find my husband of 25 years and his smile, upon seeing me, reminds me that he is not the only receiver of my eroticism.
Too much information? Maybe, but I want to help you. This stuff that can take years to learn. Live it now and see what I mean. :)
Thursday, September 3, 2015
Blatant and Subtle Eroticism in Song
Eroticism can be defined as something that
provokes a sexual feeling or desire. Throughout history, songs have played a tremendous
role in the manifestation feelings of eroticism.
When looking for eroticism in modern song, many
people will think of songs like Prince’s “Nikki” or Ginuwine’s “Pony”. In “Nikki”, Prince says [he] “met her in a hotel lobby…She said how'd you like to
waste some time.” Eroticism is evident in the fantasy that Prince can meet a woman and be immediately seduced. In Ginuwine’s “Pony”, he says, “If you're horny, let’s do it, ride it, my pony.” For many people, these “in your face” lyrics
are a suitable way of being provoked sexually.
While the blatantly sexual lyrics of both songs can be viewed as erotic, They reference quick, anonymous liaisons It is my opinion that for many women, subtle references to sex with love are more sensual and therefore, more erotic. These subtle hints create mystery and allow the listener to define their own fantasy.
Mazzy Star’s “Fade Into You” exemplifies the
subtlety of lyrics that might “turn you on.” Vocalist
Hope Sandoval sings, “I want to hold the hand
inside you. I want to take a breath
that's true…Fade into you. Strange you
never knew.” She may be singing
of unrequited love.
She wants to “fade” or become "one" with a person who has no idea of her true feelings. Knowing that love or desire might
never be returned, is a common theme in erotic songs. The eroticism in this song comes from both the
feeling invoked by the singer’s breathy, sensual, suggestive voice and the idea
that one can yearn so deeply for someone who will never love them back. There is a sense of hope for the singer, but
it is the sense of mystery and yearning that are erotic.
In today's world, it really does not matter whether you prefer blatant or subtle eroticism in song. There is no right or wrong answer It is more important that the connections you make are fulfilling and lead to your happiness.
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